


No one could replace you, Johnny

by ktsumagari



Category: Saints Row
Genre: M/M, a teeny bit nsfw. doesnt get too far, boss has self esteem/insecurity issues, boss: ramiro, its cheesy and sappy bc i am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-22 16:51:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11384358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ktsumagari/pseuds/ktsumagari
Summary: A little bit of emotional turmoil once Gat is back. (Connects to THE SCENE where you X to romance Gat)





	No one could replace you, Johnny

It was biting him up since they flew back from Zinyak’s base, making him run around in circles inside the simulation, smashing into cars and subsequently running away from aliens. Kinzie gave him work to do as soon as they settled, and he took it, because it was a good excuse to have a moment to think.

5 whole fucking years.

The Boss was distraught. After all this time he couldn’t even muster to hug him or anything, even though it had been killing him every second since that plane. Maybe going into Johnny’s little hell prison got him out of mood, seeing Aisha die again. He missed her too. Nowhere near as he missed Johnny, but back then it shook both of them pretty hard. And his “best friend” was so into it, even though it was an illusion on loop for years, he wouldn’t listen. They were marching towards their girlfriend’s death and Johnny would just dismiss everything he tried to say to him, even though it had been so long, and he had so much to say he ended up saying barely anything.

Guess it really did get to Gat. Not just that she died but the fact he had been repeating that scene for all this time straight. Lil Boss stayed away from that weird shit like taking care of your mental health, so he was no specialist, but he could take a guess that the simulation had probably messed with his head on a deeper level.

And now the insecurity hit.

Did Johnny even still care about him?

Did five years make him forget, or stop feeling? It wasn’t something he ever stopped to think about because until a while ago he didn’t want to ponder what was Gat thinking in.. Hell, probably. Hell sounds like a fun place. But it’d make sense, if they couldn’t just go and pick up from where they left off. Not even he could. It felt like so much happened in between, but so little time passed.

How do you even approach that subject?

In his distraction he ran straight into a flashpoint, smacking his face against one of the aliens and tripping over several feet. It didn’t really hurt, but it took him out of the brain fog enough to make the good decision to sink bat and nails on a bunch of grunts for fun. It was cathartic, bloody, as he ran from one guy to another smashing their heads in while they tried to shoot him. His brain started to go blank, mindlessly indulging in the violence and bright colours. He was having a good time.

“Gat would love this.”

Fuck.

He dug his heel into the last one, exploding his head into many bloody pieces. It was a shame it all still felt so fake, even though it seemed just like the real thing.

Deciding he needed to actually sit and think about this, he started to run up into one of the taller skyscrapers, and his mind started to get flooded again, going a little too fast to properly pick apart one thought from the other and having it all just becoming noise soup. Reaching the top, the Boss lied down flat on his back, looking at the artificial sky. It was one of the things that seemed kinda stylish at first but had at this point become kinda ugly, all red and dirty. He was never one to ‘appreciate nature’ but looking up at the sky at night was always kind of relaxing, even though there never were stars. Growing up in the city, under all the smoke. He missed Stillwater.

He missed Gat, too. Even though he was already back with them.

Making an effort to think, Ramiro started to make a tiny script in his head of what to say to him, repeating words over and over. Maybe just starting a casual conversation would be good. Stuff like, Hey, What’s up, except that was stupid, he was just back in an alien ship reliving his girlfriend getting her head chopped off, what do you think he’s feeling, idiot. 

He kept going on like that, starting and stopping before getting anywhere productive. It started to get him actually upset, in that way he used to feel before joining the Saints: bitter, confused, frustrated, feeling like the stakes are against him no matter what he tries to do. He didn’t want to fuck this up. He wanted to know how Gat really was feeling and if he still cared about him and wanted to be together, if there was anything he needed help with, to tell him he really really loved him and missed him a lot, but he felt terrible feeling so much, caring and having all of this trapped in his chest. It was overwhelming, and Lil Boss liked things short and simple, none of this emotion bullshit.

“Hey, boss.” The loud voice, eerily near him but coming from nowhere made him jump to his feet. Took a few long seconds to realise who that was.

“Oh, hey. Kinzie, what do you want?”

“Ok, look. I don’t wanna overblow this or anything but.. What’s wrong?”

“Wha-..” It hit him that he was probably crying for a while now. He hastily rubbed his face, trying to mask what was going on. “N- nothing, everything’s fine. What do you want?!”

“Boss, I’m making an effort to be NICE to you, so maybe try to not be an ass about it? You’ve been laying in there doing nothing for a while now and I decided to spare you the embarassement of having someone besides me notice you. Now. Is it about Johnny.”

“What are you talking about-”

“That was a rhethorical question. What’s going on between you two to make you like that?!”

“I-”

“And I don’t mean the fact you two were banging, I mean what’s making you cry inside Zinyak’s playground for the illusion of privacy while you keep trying to act tough in front of all of us.”

There was no bullshitting around her, was there.

“Look, I don’t-” He stared straight into the ground, as if looking away from her even though she was just a voice from outside the computer. “It’s complicated, you know?”

“Complicated how?”

“I mean, it’s been a really long time and his mind was with Aisha all these years, and-”

“Wait, are you jealous?”

“NO, no, no no no. I mean, I just- I don’t think I could just go and burst back into his life after so long while he was off in a mind jail watching the most important person in his life get killed over and over.”

Kinzie didn’t immediately interrupt him, so it felt right to keep going.

“He was dead to everyone else, right? Wouldn’t that mean.. That I was dead to him too?”

“Boss.”

“What?”

“I didn’t know you could be even dumber when you’re into a guy.”

“What the fuck do you mean?!”

“Who do you think made Johnny’s simulation? Aisha’s death is like, the most obvious choice of bad moments in his life, it doesn’t need any nuance to be bad and a good choice for mental torture.”

“And that means?”

“That means, it doesn’t take into account the depth of his other interpersonal relationships. I mean, your simulation was just a blank ‘bad boys not allowed’ sitcom, it didn’t take into account just how fucked up you are at all!”

“Gee, guess I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Anyway, do you understand what I’m saying? This is you and Johnny we’re talking about. What’s the worse that’s gonna happen if you went to him right now and talked things out? You think he’s not gonna let you back into his life because an alien kidnapped him for really contrived reasons?”

“Huh. It does sound dumb when you say it out loud like that but, yeah.”

“Well, I think you’re somehow letting insecurity go up to your head, Mr. President. That was all I had to say, don’t forget to hack this block’s Friendly Fire on your way out.”

“Hey, Kinzie?”

“Yeah?”

“... Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

He stared up at the sky. She was right. There was no reason to be hesitating like that right now. Gat was back from the dead and that’s what he’s always wanted. And he never let anything stop him from getting what he wanted in his life.

His eyes opened slowly, adjusting to the brightness of the room. All the other pods were empty, and everyone else was probably in the lower levels of the ship, but he knew where Johnny probably was. The Boss took a second to catch a breath and exhale slowly. Would’ve been great to have alcohol right now. In a few moments, he walked through the door and went downstairs.

Gat was sitting in the sofa, calm and distant, though he didn’t seem to be thinking about anything very much. Ramiro took a moment to look at him from afar, examining his profile and taking it all in. God, he was still really fucking handsome. Not that he hadn’t stared a black hole into his naked body back at Zinyak’s, but now they had time for that.

He slapped his own face and walked to his spectacled friend intently, with heavy, painful steps. It felt like a storm was brewing in his stomach. Johnny noticed him and smiled, getting up.

“Hey, Boss, how-”

“Just shut up, I have to tell you something. For years I thought you were dead, and I blamed myself for it. When you were gone there was a hole in my life that I tried to fill with anything I could find… partying, sex, revenge… sometimes a weird combination of the three?” Johnny amusingly crossed his arms, feeling he knew where this was going. “But nothing worked… Nothing made me feel alive like you did. I need you, I missed you.. I know I’m not Aisha, and I’m not trying to be-”

He didn’t have much time to react or keep talking before he felt an arm wrap around his waist and the other hold the back of his neck pulling him close, as Johnny’s warm lips met his and he was held tightly, with little room to breath. The Boss felt himself melt, responding to his touches eagerly and greedily as his hands ran across Gat’s back, losing himself in his mouth. It was wonderful, nostalgic, 5 years compounded into a single kiss. He felt Johnny pull back, and place a kiss in his cheek.

“I don’t remember ever asking you to be Eesh.” He saw his Lil Boss look back at him, needly and expectantly, just like he used to be. God, he probably didn’t deserve a second chance this good. “You’re your own man, and one hell of a bastard. You’re not here to replace anyone, this place right here is just yours.” He held him in his arms, hugging him close to the chest. It was comfortable, it was a place to belong, Ramiro thought. Taking a hold of Johnny, he pushed him in the direction of the couch, leaping on top of him, trailing kisses from his cheekbones to mouth to chest, hungry hands going for the spacesuit’s zipper.

“God, I missed you so much.” Gat pullled him up to steal a quick kiss, only to grab him by the neck and sink his teeth in, making the man let out a silent, raspy gasp.

“You’re just as desperate as you used to be, dude.”

“You have no idea.” He barked as he tried to get some quick payback by biting the man back as well, while Johnny’s hands found their way to his lower back and behind and gave them a healthy squeeze. “By the-, way. Everyone else is in the ship and there aren’t that many walls.”

“So?”

“Just thought I’d tell you.”

“What, like you think I don’t want everyone to hear how much I got you around my little finger like this?” Johnny felt his glasses get quickly snatched for a second as the other man looked fondly at his face, and returned them. He didn’t mind because he knew The Boss liked to see him, just thought it was a shame he could never really see that look back.

“Mm. Nah, I know. Just felt it’d be fair to mention and stuff. I want everyone to hear we’re back.”

“You litlle slut.”

“Whore.”

They burst out laughing into eachother, kissing again as Ramiro climbed onto Johnny’s lap, shifting into a comfortable position in his favourite seat ever, as his zipper was pulled gently down. The suits were kinda inconvenient, but there weren’t really a wealth of options. He almost burst out laughing again at the notion of peeling Johnny free of his clothes like a banana, gaining a knowing look from his partner. They had always been on the same wavelenght of stupid, it was nice. Everything about what was happening was so good, the way Johnny kissed his open chest slowly on his way down, the weight and pressure of his arm around him, the feeling of his skin… It was perfect, a damn miracle. It was almost too perfect, having the one you love come back from the dead like that. Not that he ever really died, but you know. Suddenly a different feeling creeped up and wouldn’t stop, and he watched Gat with a bittersweet taste in his lips, slowly working his way to his crotch.

But Gat noticed.

“Woah, hey. Are you crying?! Do you need to stop?”

He covered his face in shame, trying to mask any sobs with loudness and anger. “No, NO! Of course not, you idiot! I’m just-... Fuck..” He was always like this. Too open when it came to Johnny. “Just.. don’t you ever disappear like that again or I’m gonna fucking kill you..”

Seeing the Boss like that made him feel like an arrow shot through his chest. It was equal parts making him guilty and pleased, knowing he mattered that much to someone, and to a guy who does actually have the guts to kill someone and wasn’t just shitting around. He laid him down and followed suit, face to face with his friend. His partner in crime. Giving him the room to just let it all out, in a different way they were used to. Allowing him to become a mess of tears and snot and whines close, kissing his forehead as the man sunk his head into his chest to muffle the sounds. Crying was the thing The Boss hated the most. Appearing weak was a nightmare to him, but he trusted Gat to not look down on him in these moments. He was mostly incoherent, but would keep saying ‘I missed you, Johnny’ over and over again. And they rested there, slowly lulled into falling asleep in eachother’s arms.

Johnny was back.

**Author's Note:**

> i just blurted this out cause i cant draw right now, this has been on my mind for centuries since i worked very hard to have johnny back so i could bang him and saw THE SCENE. it was a very good but it seemed to imply johnny and the boss WERENT already banging. missteak. also for ramiro he and aisha became really good friends and they were a gay wheel with johnny, so while he feels inferior to her emotionally he doesnt resent her for mattering a lot to johnny. also based on one thing i drew: https://dapcat.tumblr.com/post/162065751577/i-have-a-lot-of-emotions-about-bossgat


End file.
